


and in those hours deep in the night

by houndstooth



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Spoilers, and really only a mention of fray, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11751690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houndstooth/pseuds/houndstooth
Summary: have you come to give your answer?





	and in those hours deep in the night

**Author's Note:**

> drk questline is dumb and needs to go away.
> 
> this is spur of the moment 3am ramblings because i'm feeling some type of way (and my self critic is asleep ha). 
> 
> please, play dark knight, even if just for the quests.

despite the ache in his body and the quiet dark of the room, he could not still his thoughts long enough to slip into dreamless rest. his thoughts would slink back to the merchant and his request, and the tug of sleep would dissipate. the smell of salt (the sea's or the beastmen's blood?) clinging to his nostrils, the lightness of the sword in his grasp, the motionless bodies of qiqirn at his feet--all of it came back to him in clarity. it had taken some time to get rid of all the bandits, but had felt too short when he realized it was over. in another time, he would have hesitated at such carnage, make his way through the beastmen with a slight sympathy. those would have been the times when he had been blind and naive.

he had taken care of the problem. maybe he could have been neater. maybe he could have been quicker. maybe-- 

maybe, he should have listened to fray.

refuse the merchant outright, tell him to get his own damn package. but once again, the words had died on his lips and he had given his word. how easy it was to say yes, even when he felt the urge to say no. he had gone forth on a fool's errand and earned naught for it but more injuries and the thanklessness of the merchant. he scowls into the dark. he's no choice in matters anymore; all he's done he did because there is no other. the weak could not protect themselves, the weak could not protect others. how could he have said no, back then, when the feelings of being wanted had drowned out the feelings of being used? what did they see but a fool unable to say no to the helpless? no one could understand--not even minfilia or the scions.

but fray understood, and fray had said exactly everything that had suffocated him from the end of operation archon, at the beginning of his fame, to his arrival at the gates of judgement, broken and outcast. they were words that had tugged at the corner of his thoughts but guilt made him cease from thinking too far. the good health of the people of eorzea were a result of him risking life and limb. he struggled against beast and man alike so they could live to see another sunrise, another snowfall. 

_enough of this. what do you want? what do you_ want _?_

he had no obligations, did he? he couldn't expect them to survive without their warrior of light, could he? what if--what if, just this once, he was to say no? his thoughts were muddled, pulled in too many directions. he wants to scream. he wants to bleed out his kindness and leave ice in its place. he thinks of fray's offer to leave everything behind-- _you need only ask_ \--and wants to say yes. instead, he says a wordless prayer to the gods, pleading with them to allow him rest.

he finally manages to drift off to the whispers of the coerthas winds, his heart beating a steady rhythm and his thoughts subdued, if only for the time being.


End file.
